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Thursday, June 2, 2011

Hold the onions Mr. Weiner!

US Congressman Anthony Weiner (D-NY), Seemed stiff in front of the cameras! He wanted more than anything for this forward flung affair to disappear under a coverup of condiments of contrived ketchup and mustard, while out of the bun. He wasn`t comfortable with an investigation but yet someone had to get to the bottom of this and obviously he lacked the qualifications. His accounts had been hacked and a serious breech of an informal brief had been exposed.
     Finding this atrocious violation of his privacy an act that needed to be brought to justice, I immediately sprang into action on my own accord to offer my services as a private investigator. As my investigation unfolded, I realized there wasn`t much to go on, the leads didn`t go far and the evidence was lacking. The small stream of new leads shrivelled to quickly resemble a cold case. I nevertheless pressed on and uncovered a small bit of hard eveidence, that under close examination, proved to be nothing more than a bump in the road, a mountain out of a mole hill kind of moment when the human mind tries to make something out of nothing.
      In hindsight, I realized had the Congressman taken matters into his own hands, none of this could have happened, leaving himself exposed on the internet without the proper security on his private accounts had been ill advised. He had hung himself out with little defense in place and was vulnerable to this sort of malicious attack from under the beltway. I will continue to lend assistance as required but as for now the trail is thin and goes nowhere but down.
     It appears the culprit was none other than Mr. Weiner himself. My suspicions of the wayward weiner were correct, all leads led straight back to him. After viewing his wimpering, confessional news conference, I couldn`t help but think...what else lurked in the shadows of this self promoting internet slug? Where there is smoke, there is fire...!