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Monday, August 20, 2012

Facebook and the new America...

Taylor McSweeney had dreamed of this day for a long while and his life was about to change. The internet had finally arrived in his rural area and he anxiously cranked up his refurbished laptop from the five and dime, (the dollar general store before inflation hit). He clicked the Facebook icon and presto, he quickly set up his account. He would have "real" friends and a timeline page and he would post all about what he had for dinner and when he was going to bed, those enlightening posts we cherish most on the main feed. He would announce his daily trivial activities and get countless "likes" for his effort. He would tell all of his love for the farm and suddenly his wall would be cluttered with advertisements pertaining to such.
His e-mail would be packed with spam and his house would get broken into when he announced he was going away for the day. His pictures of his little sister would be a treasure trove for the pedophile stalkers and his anti-gay marriage stance would get him labeled a backwoods homophobic hater. His mentioning of the old oil pipeline that ran across the back forty would lead to an EPA investigation and a condemnation of his property along with an IRS lien for not paying his "fair share" on the oil revenue. His video of his target practice range would get him placed on the domestic terrorist watch list and his corny joke about three illegal immigrants in a car would get him charged with a series of hate crimes. His farm would be labeled as a million dollar enterprise and he would have an army of Obama inspired class envy idiots camped out on his front lawn protesting. Yes...he had invited Facebook and the new America into his life.