"Welcome to the Keith and Bob show, let`s go right to the phones tonight Bob. Shall we?"
"Great idea Keith. First up is a caller from Atlanta."
"You are on the air with the Keith and Bob show."
"Hi, this is Mark from Conyers. What do you have to say about the accusations concerning Sen. Harry Reid being a masked fondler of elderly gentlemen in retirement homes? I will hang-up and listen to your response offair."
"Thanks for the call Mark, and great question. First allow me to say that these are unsubstantiated rumors and have not been confirmed. With this being said, an investigation is certainly warranted, as Sen. Reid makes unconfirmed accusations against Mitt Romney and demands answers, he too should be held to the same high standards."
"Keith, these accusations are not the only ones swirling about the Senator. Rumors persist that he is a known window peeping, masturbating neighborhood voyeur, that enjoys orgasmic pleasure derived from grinding against a tightly stretched window screen."
"I wasn`t aware of those rumors Bob. It seems the Senator has more than a few issues hanging about that need answers."
"Of course Keith these are merely rumors. We don`t know but for the sake of 'the children', they demand to be addressed."
"Without question Bob, without question. I mean for certain that if suspicions of Harry Reid persist that he is molesting retirees in nursing homes and other such degenarate behavior, this needs to be thoroughly investigated and the facts presented. Hopefully these are nothing more than malicious rumors that can be put to rest. Hard facts in this inquiry could be difficult to obtain."
"Nothing remains out of the possibility Keith. We need answers and we need them now!"
"So true Bob. But we must not jump to conclusions, we must tread lightly and confirm the facts. Just because Harry Reid looks and acts like a senile old pervert dosen`t mean he is one."
"Let`s take a commercial break Bob and hear a word from our newest sponsor..."Harry Reid`s screen chaffing aloa ointment cream"